In The Beginning................

Every woman has different expectations of labor and birth. No matter what choices you make or what beliefs you have – your baby will be born. Again, there are loads of books about birth so choose the ones that suit you and take out of them what you will. Never feel judged by others’ experiences as yours’ are unique to you.
As the post birth hormones flow through our newly mothered body a lot of primary stuff happens.
The first feeling from a primary perspective is SHOCK. Birth is a trauma which I will define as a life changing experience.
The next item on the agenda is imprinting. I watched with fascination a wildlife programme about zebras, they all looked the same from a striped perspective to me. The narrator then explained that after birth a mother zebra physically shields her baby from the rest of the herd so it can imprint her markings in its brain. WOW.
Well that’s what we want to do too. We check out our baby for the required amount of fingers and toes (yes we do!) and then need some quiet time to imprint. This is my baby, I am your mother. I remember many years ago being told my baby would know my smell so I went off and stocked up on peach smelling products as I wanted him to know that smell – silly me didn’t realise it was my own smell not that of the deodorant I used! Ah well, I lived and learned.
Some mothers, after birth, need some time and space to get to grips with the reality of what they have just experienced.
We have been told that we are supposed to feel immediate love and bonding. Some do but just as many do not. This doesn’t mean that there is anything psychiatrically or psychologically wrong I promise. Its getting over the numbing shock of what you have just experienced. Just look, count those fingers and toes, and very importantly touch. We can see with our fingers and grow love towards our new baby with our hands. The skin is a very important neurological receptor.
Our usually alert new born is a great starting point for our journey through motherhood. Some look upon their baby as gorgeous, others do not. You don’t have to look at your baby and say he is beautiful, you can look at your baby and say he’s mine! Or he’s ours!